Marriage
was seen as a sacred place where the mature and rich enter to and
commit themselves.A delegate was sent to the bride's family to
negotiate on the lobola. This delegate comprised of the elder brother
of the groom and the uncle.This was a way of cultivating relations
between the two families.According to the Ndebele origins the Ndebele
was divided into a caste system with the superiority and the
inferior,the higher class could not be married by the lower class .
This was a law within the state.
Due to
change and advancement, lobola payment has changed over years.The
system has been fabricated to an extent that it has lost its roots
and meaning.Long ago the bride to be was not to be seen walking with
the groom to be a mediator. The sisters were to pass messages from
one end to another,now all this has evolved they can walk together
and actually spend time together in resort areas.
Lobola
has radically vanished from existence into a totally new system
nowadays where money has taken the centre stage.The parents of the
two families now focuses on the money not the building of a
relationship between the families.Long ago lobola was the epicenter
of a great relations between families.
Gone
are the days when parents from the bride's side would accept a groom
from any background irregardless of who owns this or that,nowadays
the whole system has radically changed it and has lost its meaning
and its value.
The
bride and the groom now can be seen together walking even co-habit
before the lobola has been paid.Parents now charge exorbitant prices
with the aim of highly benefiting form the system.Brides and grooms
now attend the ceremony while all this was not practised long
ago.Brides now decide of how much should be charged to the
groom. Infact some brides have gone to participate in gathering of the
money for the groom or some pay it on their behalf.
Women
were not allowed to participate in the lobola negotiations but
nowadays women sit with men and discuss the matters.Before according
to the Ndebele ethics and beliefs, where lobola is believed to have
originated it was a taboo for the groom to attend the negotiations
and the lobola was not for the bride but for the children.
Technological
advances have seen lobola tradition customs falling on deaf ears and
on infertile stony land where lobola is now practised even in beer
gardens ,fields and many places of no morals.Parents now charge
lobola from the level of money they have used to raise the child.They
calculate all the expenses and come up with a total.
A
survey once made shows that most parents use a certain dipping stick
and albustix to measure each girl child on how much each family
member should get as lobola. This survey goes on to look at the
situation of the parents if they working ,or stable economically.
Invetors
have come up with a Google Application to determine the amount of
money that any groom should pay for the bride.This alone goes on to
reduce lobola as a system,it has lost its integrity and dignity.
Over
the years we have seen the evolution of lobola as a traditional
custom to a mere religion practised by every Martha and Authur
without following correct protocol.
During
the days of our fore fathers as told by oral tradition lobola was a
sacred thing and well respected.Brides to be were to follow certain
traditions before being married to grooms were to be chased away from
their first day of introduction and come to the brides family.All
this has become a thing of the past.Grooms now plait hair and come
clad in jeans and sneakers for the negotiations.
Cars
,cellphones ,houses have become the items used for creating and
building relations.Gone are the days of cattle and leather
jackets,minerals and labour. Biblically Jacob worked for Leah and
Rachel for a combined 14 years,this was what the ancient people
could do in the name of lobola. Nowadays boys have taken lobola as an
occasion to show case how rich or stylish they can be.